I'm just really confused, and maybe a little scared

So, on Thursday, in Trig, I didn't ask out the Hot Guy That Sits Next To Me.

(...because I wasn't there for the end of the class period, since I had to get out of there early for Conn's show. And it seemed wierd I guess, to seem like I had premeditated the asking. And, because I must be in high school, and I don't want him to know I like him, I just want to ask him all "spur of the moment" like. )

I roll my eyes at MYSELF, too.


But not for what you'd think sometimes. Sigh.


Ok, different topic (sorta):

So, of course, Brian was the first person I called about that bike crash I had last week. And he talked me down from the panic. His advice was to not let it ruin things for me, but to instead use this event as fuel for creating a better world. Not his exact words, but you know what I mean.

So, I wrote a letter and emailed it and I sent it to him, just to say "look, dude , took your advice. I'm starting something :)" and then he called me and said "Hi, I'm in Clearwater, and I want to merge projects and DO something" and I was going to Conn's show. And then he was in thh right place at the right time and got a bunch of things sorted out, that simple.

wait- Heather B. Armstrong is pregnant?

It's true, but really that's all I have to say about that. I mean, it's silly to blog about a famous blogger. That's like if I was to tell you that Bike Snob said thefunniestthingever about something yesterday.

Actually, a post where I recap bloggy things for you mightn't be ALL bad?


Um... yeah. Or you could just look at the links I posted. Pretty much all of the blogs I read are there, except for Bike Snob and Dooce. I figured they don't need my meager traffic.


I'll update you on things here.

1) My teeth- still in my mouth.

2) Conn will be in his first Thanksgiving show tommorrow morning at his school. Can you believe it?? He's wearing a white dress shirt and tie and everything.

3) Cora is insanely jealous of this, depsite the fact that I'm coming to HER school on Friday for "Home Made Turkey Soup Day", or "The First Graders Present: Thanksgiving!"

4) Conn CAN READ. He can read, I tell you. I swear, that boy is the most precocious 3 year old ever.

5) Cora is really quite upset that he can read. That was HER trick. She told me tonight that it's not OK, and that "the whole world CAN'T learn how to read". She forbids it, because it steals some of her glory.

6) This weekend, I'm going to Orlando for a bike race (for charity). It's like a scavenger hunt that takes us through downtown Orlando grocery stores to purchanse specified things. All food gathered on this ride will be donated to the hungry!

7) I also got invited to tag along on what I believe is someone else's date. Well, I'm being told that it isn't [but it's a party at an art gallery and a girl invited the person who invited me], because she's "working the door". I wish I could say this is the first time, but I think I recall this same friend having invited me out as a third wheel once before. Saddest thing? I kinda want to go, even though it seems like a really awful thing to do to myself, or to another girl. Well, truth be told, I have some ulterior motives:

a) not staying home drinking alone on a Saturday night
b) possibly running into someone that I half expect will be there
c) not being there alone when I run into this person
d) suspect I was invited in order to make my friend look less available
e) which means I may be shown off a bit ;-)
f) have the absolute hottest thing to wear



What do you think... go to the party? or run like hell from any situation even remotely like that one?

quick- post something that doesn't suck!

Hee.

Guess what? Uther Pendragon (a la Marion Zimmer Bradley's T.M.O.A.) sat next to me in Trig today. An entirely rude and aggravating, bearded, blond, saxon-looking sort.

The cute boy (with the tattoo of one of his paintings) that normally sits next to me wasn't there.


I keep intending to ask him out. Thursday, for reals.

posting this for you...cause you're my *very* favorite bro'

Now, I generally my roll eyes at this sort of mushiness, but I think I am in love- completely-totally-head-over-heels smitten (by The Finches). So much so, that I am adding the veritable kiss of death to my (already pneumococcal) blog. Lryics. I know, it'd be a modicum less shitty if I had actually had the gumption to WRITE a song and posted those lyrics, but they did such a nice job that I don't have to.

NOTE:::::: If this song doesn't at the very least whelm you, call me and I'll find some way to refund your wasted time. Promise.

ps, the title of it is Daniel's Song, but since I know someone by that name, and I didn't want to be, well, creepy, I dashed it out. Now you can substitute your 6 letter name for his, and I'll suddenly be singing it to you (in your dreams, of course).





------, you can take the bus

but if you're not feeling right,

I can pick you up 'cus I kinda like to drive.

From my window I see signs, they stand stapled to the road.

I'll smile at you, because we've tried and left our heavy load.



Back at home with Mom and Dad

can be an awful time, so I

promise to do what I can to try and make it nice.

From my window I see stars, they swing low against the road.

I'll smile at you, because we've tried and finally left our home.



Oh, the going, it was much too slow.

And we thought we never would arrive.

Oh, but somehow life picked up the pace,

went faster than the time,

and we somehow survived.


Waiting for the bus to come,

never seemed to last quite so long.

Leaning on the rain to fall,

------, you can give me a call;

I'll give you a ride.



Oh, the going, it was much too slow.

And we thought we never would arrive.

Oh, but somehow life picked up the pace,

went faster than the time,

and we somehow survived.


------, you can take the bus

but if you're not feeling right,

I can pick you up 'cus I used to like to drive.

Back at home with Mom and Dad

can be an awful time, so I

promise to do what I can to try and make it nice.



From my window I see signs,

they lean longing for the road.

I'll smile at you

because you're my

very favorite bro...



..oh! The going, it was much too slow.

And we thought we never would arrive.

Oh, but somehow life picked up the pace,

went faster than the time,

and we somehow survived.

flying

No, first off, I'm not running off to Korea, not just yet. But just the same, I am flying, in a way. Maybe that's the drugs talking. See what happens when you put a painkiller in me? It kills the pain, makes it ALL go AWAY.

Suddenly, I have a strange and frightening deep empathy for He Who Shall Not Be Named (and you know I don't read Harry Potter, so it's not that bad guy, I mean that other bad guy). It's just true that waking up having no recollection of the previous evening is only disturbing if you dwell on it; if, instead, you are dwelling on the spine-tinglingly beautiful and the aesthetically... um, what was I saying? Argh, my attention span!

Assuming we are similarly afflicted, go do s o m e t h i n g while you listen to this heart-breakingly beautiful song... The "big city, little town" hook is how I feel about here, my self professed home base. Oh, and I'm fairly certain a well-meaning fan made this video, and I thought for a moment that it'd also be heart-breakingly beautiful, until it dawned on me that the opening IS the whole video. What a shame.



-- Wait -- Are you thinking "what painkillers?" and "what's going on?"...

I forgot to fill you in on some details.


I was going to write a whole blog about how lucky I feel and how life is precious and fragile and about awareness and fear and preseverance. And then my painkillers kicked in and I could smile.

My face is NOT broken. I intend to keep on riding. The RUDE_ASS driver of the white pick up truck did not kill me. My new bike is ok. I flipped over my handlebars for the first time ever, and I hit the pavement teeth first. I took to it like a duck to water.

That was Thursday night. I had the right of way, I was riding conscientiously, I had TWO lights on my bike and a (practically neon) green hoodie sweatshirt on. A truck wanted to turn, so it invoked the "bigger, stronger" clause and did so, after making eye contact with me. Unfortunately, I had some speed and had the right of way, so stopping was a bit of a surprise, as was tasting the road. My bike hit me on the back of the head, my quart of yogurt exploded in my messenger bag, the truck sped off into the distance.

Did you know that this past Wednesday night, in St. Pete, a 20 year old, who had gone to Clearwater High with some of my friends, died? He was riding his bike (with two lights on it) and was struck by a Jeep. The St. Pete Times gave it all of 50 words and mostly just pointed out that he had not been wearing a helmet and that the driver just was not aware of his presence on the road. Oh, and that no charges had been filed.

This is not just upsetting to me, this is UPSETTING. After my 'incident' I was shaken up and worried about what I'd look like with no front teeth. And then I thought about what I could have done differently. And about how to prevent this sort of thing. And about how if I had been going a little bit faster, I'd be dead.

my first Skirts ride

This week I had a night off from my Tuesday class, so I headed downtown and met up with some girls about my age who like bikes. That's not all they like; there's other stuff too; art/writing/reading, tattoos, philanthropy, fun, drinking, baking, oh yeah, and bikes.


We rode a northernly route around St. Pete. At around mile 5 I felt weak and like it was all a bad idea. By mile 7 I had my shit together and was loving life.

My new friend, Indi, and I chatted non-stop as we pumped out hearts out, certainly not leading the pack, but arriving at the ending point around the same time as the others, ready to sit down for some brainstorming re: upcoming events.

In all, about 15 miles.