this is how

...I've been handling the issues, so far.

I'm reading Carlos Castaneda's Tales of Power and hoping to absorb some lesson on strength and self assuredness.

Since it's a book I've already read, there is that nice comfort that I can pick it up and open it to any part I want. Yesterday I reread the part where Don Juan explains the tonal and nagual to Carlos, which are (self)consciousness and invisible power, respectively.

They sit on a bench for a while and people watch, picking out people who have weak, out of shape tonals, and Don Juan adds that self indulgence can weaken the naturally sensitive tonal.

The nagual is where a warrior's creativity, power, and immpecability come from, and it is entirely invisible and un-imaginable, but when it is in balance the warrior can draw on it at will.

Maybe this sounds a bit esoteric to you, for a discussion on childrearing, but I can't imagine anything else I can do at this point to balance the two forces working on me right now- (somewhat just)outside expectations and my preference for my own method of handling my children (certainly NOT perfect yet!). I am open to change, but not at the expense of my relationship with C and C.

So, I want to have a strong, balanced tonal and nagual, so that all of my life is like clay in my hands. I know my children are their own selves, but I want to manage them deftly when needed, and others, too.


Also, I don't know why my reply to Cassie came under the name of Luz Dary, my aunt. I was sure I had completed the sign in as myself.