I'm a big show off

I decided to play instead of work this evening, after trying to work on projects for Technologies in Heritage Preservation all day to no avail. And this is the adorable result of my night! FELT FOOD Christmas gifts for the kids!



A fried egg (shown in a mini-frying pan from Ikea's toy section), and le tour de force, a chocolate cupcake with frosting and glittery seed bead sprinkles!

"mulish", also my FAILED attempt to avoid the cliche early Jan blog post

Mulish is a word Lynne Reid Banks uses quite a bit in The Indian and the Cupboard.. Cora and I are just a chapter from the end, probably finishing it tonight, and she's totally WOUND about it.

Ok, enough dallying. Here's my year in review, blah blah blah.

In January of 2009 I was still recouping from a rather personal blow I'd been dealt. There's little point in being cryptic, I guess. B and I had a bad falling out, and I expected to never speak with him again.

Feb 2009- continued working at SPC, full time student, etc. Car breakdown on Valentine's Day led to romantics which led to one of the most annoying dating relationships of my LIFE>

March 2009- still car-less, much of the same. probably TOO MUCH DRINKING, which led to some gradual weight gain in spite of all that extra bike riding.

April 2009- break up from most annoyingly splendid boyfriend ever, got an almost perfect SAT score, and bought a cool manual transmission car, all in the same couple of weeks. Would not actually have possession of said vehicle til the Hot Professor moved to Hawaii at the end of the semester.

May 2009- graduation(did not walk), celebration, CIGUATERA poisoning (basically akin to having a stroke), new car that I would be completely too uncoordinated to drive for some time. Saw DCFC in Orlando.

June 2009- saw the Decemberists in ATL, met Colin Meloy :) Went to Danny's wedding in Colorado, had my bday, and decided I was horribly fat. Committed to Tosca Reno's Eat Clean methods.

July 2009- played a lot of tennis with my mom, and a lot of scrabble to try and perk up those saggy brain cells after the neuro toxins had had their way with me. Also, drove the little car to Pensacola to check out the archaeological field school there. I just loved the dig, OMG. Ate clean. Read Infinite Jest.

August 2009- kicked it up at the gym, and got my bf % down a little, in anticipation of the fall semester plump up that would surely happen. Ate clean. USF orientation :)

Sept 2009- official university student. B and I plan a crazy trip, over beer and homework, to hike the Art Loeb trail in Western NC in the beginning of Oct. Ate clean, plus beer.

Oct 2009- busy busy with school, but first round of exams prove my metal- all As.
SWINE FLU. and immediately after, we leave for that damn hiking trip
(and also for seeing the Decemberists play the Hard Rock in Orlando). I say terrible things to B in NC, we end the friendship shortly after the trip. Clean eating. Lot's of flax and protein.

Nov 2009- Like a sudden windfall, begin dating most adorable boy ever, albeit briefly. On our third date, where we held hands for the first time, we went ice skating. I went down after a couple of ours of good fast skating, due to irregular ice (!!!) and shattered some thoracic cartilage/fractured a rib. The adorable boy and I call the whole thing off, (unrelated to the injury) and I have to nurse two kinds of wounds simultaneously, fun...immediately followed by Thanksgiving in Tally. Took a break from clean eating.

Dec 2009- finals! All As!! start of my blessed winter holiday and the return of sleeping in and having crazy adventures.

sounds so good

This is Whitest Boy Alive playing at Radio Global's anniversary party, in Tijuana, of all places.

un momento perfectissimo

After several days of oppressive heat, now the the air is somehow the perfect temperature. The stars were out in their finest shimmer tonight, and the night sky so honestly navy that it hurts just to see how true it is.


And earlier this evening, in conjunction with the Starry Night, I cleaned the house, so everything smells nice and tidy. We had a couple of friends over for the link up, and to drum. One of them even brought a mandolin :-)

And, to top a perfect evening off- I'm sitting here listening to La Boheme in the nearly exhausted candlelight, drinking Sleepy Time Tea, which is supposed to help me fall asleep (important, since I have to get up for school in a little while).


Anyways, the whole moment is just overwhelmingly beautiful, I had to share.


Oh, and that's not all... I did some NSF research tonight and found out just how much money has been put into Anthropology research in the past 4 years, and it's unbelievable. Millions just from the NSF. So, of course that put me in a good mood. And I'm a little bit ecstatic because I got two (glowing) letters of recommendation today (from Bill Hemme & Hilary Flower) for my packet to the Smithsonian. (!!!!!!) (Does your heart nearly beat out of your chest at that? Mine does.)

This is going to require a trip to FedEx, which I have been steadily avoiding since late last August, but I'm going to have to do it. I will keep you updated.

woo

So, we are in the midst of planning a snow-day. I thought at first that I'd drive the kids to, oh, say a mountain in West Virginia. That's 14 hours behind the wheel for me, and then we'd go crazy in the snow, sleep the drive off in our motel room, and then take pictures in the snow the following morning, and drive back home.

Essentially, it takes the whole weekend.


The appeal to this plan was CHEAPNESS. Then Harry suggested I not put my car through that abuse, and, since my transmission is starting to go, I realized the flaw in the plan. I looked at car rentals. I looked at train fares. I re-considered the itinerary to include NYC or D.C. or Albuquerque. It would still be a really short trip. We can leave on a Thursday afternoon (I'd have to do my bio lab on a different day, and just skip trig), and I need to have the kids in bed by 8 pm on Sunday.

I haven't hashed it all out yet, but the next few weeks will tell.


**** Also, breaking news. My cell phone is now broken. I CAN text but can't place or answer calls. So I also need to budget THAT in. Argh.


*****MORE breaking news. Cora just asked me to make her a "Laura dress".

and come gather 'round the stripper pole?

On Sunday, since I was sans enfants, I rode my bike up to Borders (in the bitter cold) and hunkered down with a few books and a cup of coffee. I actually zipped right through two of them, cover to cover.

The first one was Candy Girl, by Diablo Cody (that chick who wrote the screenplay for Juno). It's the true story [blah blah blah] of how she worked as a stripper, etc. Interestingly, when she first began working in strip clubs she had a decent day job and a happy home life with her boyfriend & his little girl.

Ok, granted- that's a pretty juicy story, but what I liked best about the book is her use of language. She gets the texture of words. She employs literary technique, skillful narrative, and subtle humor even though she would have still sold plenty of copies 'taking the easy way out'.

Since I've been writing a lot, when I read and my mind goes to the behind-the-scenes stuff... How was the piece constructed, and in what order? Which parts gave her the most satisfaction, or the most trouble? How much of a real life person do you write into your book, and where do you draw the line?

do you know my ex? OR why good fathers do single mothers a disservice

I was riding home from Borders tonight (completed 9 miles today), in the frigid cold, and I was thinking about stuff. I come up with a lot of things to write when I'm bike riding and alone. The train of thought goes to interesting places sometimes.

Tonight, I was thinking about school stuff, about those internships, and about field school. And about WHERE I am going to get the majority of my anthro coursework done. I really DO still want to go to UWF in Pensacola, but I tell myself constantly that it's just not possible. I can't uproot my kids and move them to north FL, can I?? Besides, how could I be a full time student in a town where I have no relatives to help with childcare AND manage my kids, day in and day out, with no respite?

Last week was a sort of rough week here. Work was busy and school started again, so I guess it's not unusual that I was tired. But, since the kids go to their dad's house a few nights each week (remember, we do 50/50 custody), I have frequent breaks. I have no excuse for wanting to be alone when they are here. NO EXCUSE.

But I found myself half wishing that I could just have a moment of peace. And my kids really get that. I say, "FOR GOODNESS SAKES. Can you go upstairs if you're going to play so loudly?!" and "Why don't you both go play outside and get some fresh air?" and I have them eat in the kitchen, and I'll sit elsewhere, just so I can eat as I have become accustomed to in their absence; with no drama about tomatoes or fights to break up. I just don't want to deal with it anymore.

So, that's just it. I've become soft, apparently. I'm no longer the heavy duty mom-machine I once was, hardened by day in and day out consistency and sleepless nights (no, no, my sleepless nights are for my own benefit NOW, haha).

I certainly always love them, and I work my ass off keeping them happy, clean, fed, etc, worrying about their futures, bringing glasses of water at bedtime, examining the color of their mucous... But when push comes to shove and I'm threatening to "stop this car right now, because both of you are getting a spanking" I can fall back on the fact that they are going to daddy's house and I won't have to deal with this crap until tomorrow.

And, Harry's such a damn good parent. I've felt jealous of him in this regard before. For example, when Core was teeny. She was just a little thing, a newborn, and I was all nerves. I didn't know how to do anything with a baby, and had to learn everything 'on the job', so to speak. But nothing phased him. Never once did he come to me in a panic saying, "I don't know, does she look... funny to you? Is she breathing normally?" [Seriously, I did that. One night, he was at work and I swore she was dying. I tried to count her breaths and take her pulse, but it was really hard because she was 4 weeks old.]

But, really, he handled it all so well. Conner was born right into Harry's hands. Harry even changed a few diapers and fed a few bottles, although baby-care was generally my arena (since I stayed at home with the kids). Tantrums in the grocery store at 18 months, potty training, nothing phases him. And now that they're older, he's even better at parenting.


You must think I am counting my lucky stars about this (and I frequently do), but right now, I'm sort of wondering WHY he couldn't have been one of those lousy dads. If he was, if I knew it was just me and my babies in the cold hard world it would be a lot easier to be a better mom. There would simply be no other choice.

But knowing that I am not the stronger parent gives me room to slack off a bit. I'm still doing car circle drop offs and pick ups, I still have tiny little socks in my laundry, and I still put juice boxes and cheese sticks ahead of white wine on the grocery shopping list, but all the while, I'm walking in a world of daydreams, like I am one 6 year old's temper tantrum away from running off to study human remains, and to eat my breakfast in peace and quiet.

just a little copy/paste

I mentioned to some friends that my household is even observing (our version of) Kwanzaa this year. I had some curiousity earlier this season and was really impressed by the principles of this holiday (which I have pasted for you here).

Basically, there are 7 days of observance during which friends and family can exchange small gifts that are meant to uplift, inspire, and nurture who we are as creative, proactive, free-thinking individuals and to unite us as a community.



Unity- To strive for and to maintain unity in the family, community, nation and race.


Self-Determination- To define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves and speak for ourselves.

Collective Work and Responsibility- To build and maintain our community together and make our brothers' and sisters' problems our problems and to solve them together.

Cooperative Economics- To build and maintain our own stores, shops and other businesses and to profit from them together.

Purpose- To make our collective vocation the building and developing of our community in order to restore our people to their traditional greatness.

Creativity- To do always as much as we can, in the way we can, in order to leave our community more beautiful and beneficial than we inherited it.

Faith- To believe with all our heart in our people, our parents, our teachers, our leaders and the righteousness and victory of our struggle.

coming clean: my double life

Being a mom is the greatest thing I never expected to be doing with my life. This holiday season, in particular, has been rife with festivities celebrating the children in this household. Maybe for the first time, this year, I really got it. Taking a multi-cultural approach makes perfect sense for us, since we don't particularly subscribe to any one set of beliefs. And it all really makes sense when you step back a little, and get a wider view.

For example, did you know that Buddhists set up alters in their homes at this time of year to celebrate their decendents, complete with sweets, miniature figurines, small gifts, and candles.

It's all been a reminder to me to be more gentle with my kids (I tend to be a little harsh sometimes), to focus on them more, and to involve them in everything that "has to be done", from taking the jar of kitchen scraps out to the compost pile, to making gifts.



Ah, but heres the double life bit- my Christmas involving the kids is over. It's 11:45 pm on Christmas Eve, and I am off the proverbial hook.

After dinner at my mom's house, their dad came to pick them up to take them to Inverness for a perfectly country Christmas, and now all that's left to do on Christmas is to go to the beach, drink pink sparkly wine, watch movies, and sleep all day tommorrow (if I choose to).

In actuality, there will be some of that, but also some knitting, some music, and some reading; I was given a great book this year, by my roommate who knows me so perfectly.

I can't sleep

I think I've got a little bit of a fever.

But that's not very interesting...


Guess what? I get to keep my job in the new year; it's official. Woohoo, for not being unemployed!


My new office is pretty great, but the coolest thing about the new building is that it HAS SHOWERS in the downstairs bathrooms.

No joke. Bill Hemme, my boss, an avid commuter-cyclist pointed this feature out to me, but I had noticed it before anyone had a chance to say anything, thinking that it will indeed be possible to ride to work as the weather heats back up in the spring.

If only I could find one of these, then I could take the kids to school (one at a time, but it would work, Cora gets dropped off at 8:30, Conn at 9:00, and my house is in between their schools), and then head out myself for school/work.

Santa, I've been an awfully good girl...

an exercise in cultural, er, studies

I learned something cool, so it must be shared:

The appropriate Roman holiday greeting is "Io, Saturnalia!" (pronounced Yo!).



Yesterday was pretty grand; I slept in till after noon, I went for a solitary bike ride shopping expedition to the used book store, and then went back home to clean a bit for the RAD festive gathering we are having tonight.

After the cleaning and errand running, I went visiting in Largo (hi Kimmi!!), and then got back home just in time to enjoy Helen practicing piano and to open the door for my friend, future colleague, and fellow anthropology enthusiast.

Here's to dranking, discussing (arguing?) toasting each other's good health, and ringing in the season in the appropriate manner, io.

in my little forest

it upsets me, so smooth it over with homemade cheer.

I am actually going to pick up the knitting needles again.

Think I can get something done in time for seasonal gift-giving? Who knows.


---Also--- Michelle, I am intending to mail a parcel to YOU "any day now". Which means after finals.

I've been meaning to send it to you since the last week of August.


Homemade things are the order of the week; Cora and I are giving her teacher homemade dog biscuits and a letter Z ornament, Conner's teachers will get plates of cookies, my mom is getting... uh, something. Bender reads this blog every-so-often, so I won't say exactly what she's getting, but it's handcrafted by me and since we live together, I'll get to see it frequently.

On the winter solstice, we'll be here with Yuletide cheer, lighting candles, singing songs, opening gifts, and decorating our very own piece of the forest with glittery paper-chains that the kids are putting together.

Down with exclusively store-bought holidays!

Down with Kay's and Lexus and JC Penny's!

looks like fun