wrestling with myself (just skip this post, it's lame)

-Working on my class plans and also avoiding finishing them. I'm terrified of rejection because the job isn't officially mine yet (nothing's official till there's a check in hand), but the orientation gave me a really good sense that it IS mine. Tricky rock/hard place kind of paradox here. Feel like I HAVE the job, so I'm less motivated to win it. Fear that I haven't got a chance, so I'm afraid to hear the final verdict.


-Had coffee and a free Rays donut for "breakfast" today because I've been eating so healthily otherwise (minus some carrot cake the other night, but I seriously couldn't say no to that). And the donut produced a nearly instant stomachache! Turns out you can't go healthy and then have a donut in the morning. Cake at night is fine, apparently, but the morning is not?



At least my kids are happy. They're sewing at the kitchen table and got to go to the movie theater for free today (wherein they ate the free donuts mentioned above).

So...who else is doing the Infinite Summer? you there, in the back?

I want so much to discuss the first couple of parts of Infinite Jest w/ someone! Instead, I'll have to satisfy myself with telling you my own personal news:

So, I have a date on Sunday with this guy who's smart, funny, etc and it turns out he also Colombian. Wow, cool, I thought.

Turns out he was in my middle school gifted class w/ Mrs. Silos. Ha! Last night we reminisced: Remember when we had to memorized that poem by Percy Bysshe Shelley?? Remember when we mummified that chicken??? Haha!

Ans speaking of chickens... I secured 2 free range laying hens and a chicken coop for my kids today. For free. Just like that! Someone needed to get rid of them by Thursday.

Sweeeet. I love free stuff, even better when it's delicious free stuff.

Clearwater Beach Challenge

Jared, Dan, and I went bar-hopping on the beach a bit last night. Woot! two thumbs up for living in a (humid! hot! summer!) paradise.

So, here's the lowdown: I got to check out some of the beach bars I'd never been to before, didn't break any pint glasses, and didn't come down with those damn embarrassing hiccups, but I still fear I am maybe awkward company.

Anyways, it was fun! When it was my turn to buy a round, they gave the pitcher to me for half price and then the keg ran out so they threw in a free pint of a different beer (the bartender has offered to just top off the pitcher with a different... but eww, no). Then a minute later, Jared found eleven bucks on the strip and then Dan wanted a Dunkin Donuts breakfast sandwich, so we got a bag full of free Rays donuts to end the night.

je pense, tu penses, il, pense...

One of the best reasons to have a roommate is having someone to practice foreign languages with. Helen, thankfully has studied as many of years of French as I have, and has the same sort of interest that I do in recapturing and retaining it.

We've been busy bees here, playing with Rosetta Stone (thanks a million, Lloyd!), watching French movies, reading en francais, listening to tapes, etc.


Here's what I think works, and what doesn't.


5+ years of study YES, WORKS but if 6 or 7 years go by without practice, you lose a lot.

Rosetta Stone Program Yes, helpful. IF you already have the background, I think this is a fun way to refresh your vocabulary. Without the background, good luck. Conjugations are barely covered, if at all!

French In Action video series YES run to the nearest library. Radically good for verbs, adjectives, and nouns.


This week we also watched Jean de Florette and Manon des Sources, two classics.


The book I've been reading is a collection of short stories by various classic French writers, and it's sort of hit or miss. While I liked L'Etranger well enough 9 years ago, now Camus leaves me wanting... something. His plots are not just sparse but invisible. I just finished L'Hote (The Guest), and while I get it, I just don't get it.

Still working on The Atheist's Mass by Balzac. Slow going, that Balzac.


Anyways, it's almost my birthday month. Why did that seem funner before I typed it?

community news

For the past couple of weeks, my job has been dragging. It takes the wind out of my sails to not be needed, to not be woefully busy. Of course, the irony here is that as we approach final exams (still many weeks away!), both my courses AND office workload pick up speed at a pretty fast clip.

But who wants to go to work each day at a job that essentially means nothing to the world?* But I set the bar kinda high; I want to be busy with something that makes the world a better brighter place, that I find physically and mentally stimulating, and that gives me that chance to study human interactions and aspirations.

So, anyway- one moment, I was at "work", reading blogs and logged into facebook in another window (I told you, I like to multitask), when something great happened. I came across a link Amy posted on our gardening blog regarding community togetherness here in our corner of the world. Before I knew it, I was on the phone, networking a bit, and letting these people know about the Really Really Free Market, where I think they could promote memberships in their garden. I still plan on getting something similar underway in my neighborhood, so this is awesome to me. There's a meeting for Green Florida going on next Wednesday that I'm going to try to attend.


Things are considerably better in mental-health-land, since that last post. I've been doing things that make me feel really human and all around good.

-That night, I texted with Billy a bit about my great day and the wierd feeling of deep dissatisfaction that accompanied it. He made me smile a bit, I made him laugh a bit, and the consensus was that these feelings are sometimes part of the fate of mankind. No biggie.

-Helen, Billy, and I went to the drum circle night at the Dunedin Brewery last night. In a crowd of other humans, hands and bodies in motion, I felt very connected.

-Then back at home, we made music ourselves into the wee-est hours. We had everything set up all over the livingroom; a couple of mikes, a couple of mixing boards, instruments, and voices. And then my awesome bf made me a middle of the night egg/breakfast sausage sandwich that was out of this world.


The next week and a half has lots of good stuff in store, too. Another exam tomorrow morning, sewing diapers for the RRFM, plans to visit with Chrissy (Bill's twin) and her cub, going to another drum circle with Amy and Baby Avery, hopefully buying a new car, going to a birthday BBQ at Chris and Summer's, Spring Break for college students (though I will be at work a bit during the break), a garden-meeting for Green Florida , and the the RRFM. Whew.



*I think part of my mood in my last post was related to this feeling.

this sounds good to me

We'll be there; I'm bringing Malden Mills fleece diaper covers to barter with. I am ISO: black or pink grip-tape for my bike, books (and more books, inevitably), produce, and who knows what else.

my favorite taoist proverb in action?

I started two more little pots of seedlings last night, carrots and more watermelons. The kids and I have a gardening afternoon planned with Amy and Avery for Friday. We'll be bringing over our little seedlings (which are SO ready to go into the ground), and some compost and perhaps coming home with some ferns.




Last night, as I was clearing dinner from the table and herding children upstairs to brush teeth, Bill called (sorry, yes, you are going to be getting updates for a little while like this, until the shock wears off). We made some small talk, I got the funniest compliment I have in a while- "Your brain is a really nice brain..." - and then he asked me what I planned on doing on Saturday.

Well, I had planned on asking him that! I confessed that I had something really dorky going on, and I wanted to see if he wanted to join us. Inflatable bouncy place. Yes, the kind for children. Conner got an invitation from a preschool classmate, and we were going to use it on Saturday, and I always seem to be the only grown up in there, jumping. I figured, worst case scenario, he'd laugh at me, best case scenario, I wouldn't be the only grown up jumping in the inflatables. He laughed a little and said yes, absolutely, sounds like fun actually. And then invited me to one of his best friends' houses with him, too. (So, to clarify... does this mean he's NOT embarrassed to be seen with me??)



Also, stay tuned for more info on THE REALLY REALLY FREE MARKET a local event that is going to knock your plebeian socks off. Well, it will if you like the idea of trading and bartering for goods instead of buying with money... and a world that is less dependent on gorging itself at Capitalism's groaning buffet table of economic splendors.

I'm using Google Chrome now

And I like it.

I really never bothered to look beyond the browser I had before (although I was aware of other browsers), but this is nice.

Self medicating. The Rx: one tent, some water, stars

Although life is good, I was feeling stressed out this afternoon.

It's probably because of a stupid issue that popped up with the kids' dad, normal financial problems (still waiting on this semester's Pell grant), pressure to finish a few custom diaper orders but not really feeling the drive to work on them, and just some general uncertainty.

So anyways, just now, while we were discussing living a balanced life my roommate told me a story about something that happened at the Mesa Link up last night.

To make a long story short, it was advised to someone who was dealing with some personal imbalance to make a point of getting fresh air and reconnecting with nature, each and every day. That is a very common sense thing to say, when someone needs to de-stress, but I think maybe it's SO common-sense-ical that we all tend to forget those needs sometimes.

I'm not doing badly in that department; I've been getting lot's of exercise since I got home from Colombia, and much of it has been outdoors.

Plus, a few years ago I developed a habit (that has really stuck with me) of staring at the sky or at tree branches as a way of processing extreme stress. I go to the beach (though I haven't lately) to swim and reconnect. But that all just seems like mental health maintenance.

So, as Helen told me what the shaman's advice to our friend was, I jumped out of my seat, having an epiphany.

I'm going camping. Yes, right now.

I rode 10 miles this afternoon/evening

... and the brakes on my bike sound a little, um, rebellious.

In order to prepare for Monday, I wanted to test out my route, but I didn't want to go to SPC for nothing (I am goal-oriented, I guess). I decided to ride to Borders at Clearwater Mall. I figured it's past my school, but just down the street, so I could plot out my route for school, time myself, and then read for a little while.

It was pretty easy.

I feel slightly compelled to take a pair for shears with me next time. Not that I don't love branches in my teeth, I just want to multitask and do a little gardening with my neighbors.

Diurnal-Girl, here

And I am feeling a little sleepy.

Probably because I have been kicking ass this weekend with housework, homework, and the gym. I'm back to the pre-vacation rhythm of going 5 days a week, but I actually wasn't a slug w/ my cardio, today. You know how you are 'supposed' to mix it up if you want to challange yourself? I did; instead of running or getting on the elliptical machine I used a bike and it was a nice workout. I feel healthy, and discovered that I can make it farther than I previously thought.

From now on, riding to school...

surges...

... are the best kinds of waves to swim in, it's true. The adrenaline rush is so tingly and you can actually get a good workout fighting against the waves and then riding them when you need a break.

Yes, I am still doing free things. I do already have a homeschoolers' annual pass to Great Explorations (a childrens museum), however it's in St. Pete and gas is not free. Heritage Village is nearby, though, and they really love it.

Oh, yeah, and last night we did watch Frida, and although the eyebrows have me freaked out, it was a really interesting film. And it was free.

But in all honesty, I am content content content... which is rare for me, right? I just feel so happy to have such great friends and family.