oh, THAT'S my password! ;)

Has life ever been better? Or busier?



My semester ended today, and Robby and I fly out in 25 days!!!!!

There's still a ton to do between now and then, but the biggest has got to be packing up and moving everything I own IN ADDITION to packing for 10 rugged Yukon weeks. Nine of which will be spent living in a tent camp with my boyfriend, how awesome is that? :)

Also, there's that and Seattle/Vancouver on the way there, and L.A. and Denver on the way home. I am soooo excited, but sort of crazy nervous right now. I'll feel better once every paper is filed with the appropriate department, everything is worked out, every box packed and moved out, and we are standing in my empty place.

gear to purchase:

quality long underwear
either a double size air mattress or thermarests and a coupler
a large enough pack
a decent waterproof jacket
new boots, the old ones are done in!
another two pairs of wool socks

getting closer to Pisgah

We are less than 3 weeks away!

I'm half frightened and half ecstatic.

Bought a new sleeping bag this weekend (fairly lightweight) and feeling like time is going quickly now.

My goals for the next couple of weeks are to mainly make sure I stay committed to training my body and to make sure I stay on top of school stuff. Currently, I have As in anything we've had graded work in... but so much will be known after the first round of exams... a couple of weeks yet.

In all, it was a pretty productive weekend. I got a lot of studying done and got some short but serious lifting in on Friday (only spent 25 minutes at the gym, I like to get in and out of there).

The Mission: Break All Comfortable Boundaries

In a month, I'll be heading out to Pisgah National Forest for a hiking trip that promises to obliterate all of my senses in a barrage of arboreal splendor. And don't forget knocking me out of my comfort zone!

The hike is 31 miles, mostly very steep, primitive, and I'll be packing everything in and out. To complete the hike, I have to make 10 miles per day, which would be no great concern if it wasn't for the altitude and terrain.

Thankfully, I've been getting in a lot of strength training so I feel better than I have all year.

Layin' Low

I've been getting things in order here, waiting for the (inevitable?) maelstrom that comes with a full time and then some course load.

Did I tell you that GPAs start anew when you transfer in to USF? I know!!!

I can have a 4.0 :D

I applied for a pretty decent sounding job today, but if I get it, I'll have to drop down to full time status, instead of full time plus. Which is fine. Whatever. If I get it, cool. If not, hopefully the person who does needs it more than I do.


But I'm just at home alone today, listening to music, cleaning, menu planning (healthy eating doesn't just HAPPEN. you have to make it work), and still more cleaning. No gym today. Bike ride, instead...

38 minutes

Not too bad of an evening drive, from north Tampa to my neighborhood.


Anyways, I got there bright and early (8 am). The campus is huge (I'm used to little SPC campuses), and signs for the orientation were, at best, sporadically existent.

The tone for the day was set by sorority hopefuls armed with high end accessories. I had a tall black coffee with me. We walked and walked (a mile??) to the Marshall Student Center where in a packed theater, seating several hundred, awkward presenters told us about this great new "transition" we were about to experience.

At this point, I still thought this was all kind of lame and unnecessary. Some people had brought their moms with them.

The presenters had us all stand and they sang the alma mater, which honestly gave me goosebumps. Maybe that's because the speaker told us he didn't want the first time we heard it to be at our commencement ceremony, and that just got me. I started to feel really excited.

Anyways, there were several mandatory seminars, several optional a-la-carte type presentations (I heard one all about parking info, one about the business end of school, and one about study abroad programs), then back to the big theater.

Eventually we were sorted, little by little, by college and major so that advisors could speak to us.

I was sent to see Dr. Edgar Amador, my advisor, in the anthro dept (funny how anthro depts SMELL the same all over the place), and hello! He is about 30, with wavy dark hair and eyes, and a pleasant smile. There's a road bike propped behind his desk, too.

Anyways, I was then sent across campus to the library to use a computer and pick classes. Ran into Matt Vassallo on the way, haha. Had a pain in the ass of a time picking classes because EVERYTHING IS ALREADY TAKEN. Argh! So I now have a weird patchy schedule. It's pretty much equivalent to a psoriatic dog, which is a slap in the face as far as schedules go, since I'm practically a senior.

After the first day of classes, if some kids drop, I can try to squeeze into the classes I originally wanted. "Want" is sort of the wrong word though. I only need certain classes to graduate (essentially just the upper level ANT classes), and I can't just waste time left and right with nonsense classes.

So, until further notice, I've got:

-Biological Anthropology

-Bio ANT Lab

-Spanish IV

-Geology- "From the Big Bang to the Ice Age"

-Ancient History I

getting ready for 'back to school's

The kids got some shots today, in preparation for the coming school year, and I got my paperwork saying I have, indeed, once-upon-a-time been immunized too.

I've got an full day at USF planned for Thursday- mandatory orientation, advising, etc, but I already figured out my schedule myself.

And now, I'm sitting here listening to a painful reading about frogs and tadpoles. EXCRUCIATING. I should probably go and deal with this.

every summer for the rest of my life?

I am happy to say that I picked the right major. This was sort of the test, you know?

If you can hack it in the sun and rain, with dirt in your ears, ants in your lunch, and bug spray in your bra... If you can deal with the metric system, with nit picky paperwork about the "official" color of soil at certain levels, with bosses who Humph! and Argh! at your team, and with co-workers who never stop wishing aloud they were somewhere (anywhere!!) else...

...then maybe this has a chance of working out.

Because not only can I hack it, I can do it without fail. I can do it without complaint, with my mind keenly tuned to what is being asked of me, while creatively helping to solve problems left and right.


Yesterday's work involved some graphing and I am proud of myself for not losing it with this one girl who is a non stop complainer. She was lackadaisically chopping at the wall of the unit with her trowel and her work looked terrible. (That's when I got to get in there and clean up her section, woohoo!) We were getting ready for photo clean, which is when it's cleared out, sprayed with water, and labelled for photos. Then everyone get's back to the less pretty excavation. But she was just being a PITA and I could not believe she is seriously hoping to pursue a career in this and complaining all the way. WHY do it if you don't love it?? There are a thousand other careers that are more lucrative fo' sho'. BAs in archaeology make $12/hour, MAs make about 35K per year. We are not here for the money, people.


That chick also said she doesn't "do the metric system" and when we were graphing elevations I (the newbie) had to explain in VERY basic terms that the height of the total machine must be subtracted from the reading and that it's based on the NAVD (North American Vertical Datum, 1988), and then the number John's shouting out to us from across the woods matches with the coordinate points I'm reading to her from the unit... And she's been out here every day for weeks and weeks. I JUST GOT HERE. I mean, really.


Oh but I am LOVING every minute. The heat is nothing to me, I just feel so lucky to be here. Imagining how filthy we'd be at the Yukon field school (living in tents for 8 weeks). At least here I can come back to the apartment equipped with wifi, house cats, and hot running water...


As far as my home-situation, and the loneliness:-\ I guess maybe it's getting better?

John was really pleasant and happy to see me on Sunday night. Monday at work we were fine, then he got drunk Mon night and was just mean. Tuesday my feelings were still smarting, so I was distant w/ him while working side by side, and Tuesday night he had to go to work (Starbucks, I don't blame him for feeling crabby) and didn't say more than 3 words to me between then and Wed morning. But the weird thing is that in the field he's cracking jokes NON stop and making voices all day long. And then at home, sullen.

Anyways, Wednesday night we actually hung out and watched a Scottish sitcom for a few hours and played Scrabble and laughed and argued.


Funny, though, his perpetual gloom cloud really puts other people in perspective. Everybody seems cheery by comparison!

Still missing my kiddos and my friends and my house with my bed and my pillows and the plumerias and the crazy squirrels outside and the familiarity. I def know which way my compass' arrow points for home, and I relish longing for home again and again.

an email from Dr. Worth

So, the field school in Pensacola is not going to work out for me this year. It's been a bit of a blow to me, and a reminder that when you have a timetable, you damn well better stick to it! [in the fall, I knew I could graduate and go on to university to get to work on my upper level anthro courses if I got an A or a B in my math class, but instead I didn't do well enough in Dr. Geiger's trig class and had to stay at SPC for the spring, to finish up. Therefore, I didn't get my upper level pre-req's done before the summer semester.]

Field school there was my plan B anyhow, but I liked having a solid plan B. Plan A is really more of a pipe dream. When I first brought it up, I asked my friend, John Krebs III, if he believed in praying. And then a moment later, if he would say a prayer for me. His answer was yes, but that he advocates expecting the worst, so you can be pleasantly surprised when you are wrong, but I'm having a hard time with that.

But, I've applied to UWF and they genuinely sound like they want me, but it's not official yet. I applied to FSU, too, but I'm cranky with them for a few reasons, and might not really consider going there if accepted, even though 3 weeks ago, I really did want to.

Instead, I've been house hunting in P'cola, via craigslist. And I can really see in my mind's eye my things packed up and in the back of a small U haul truck. I can see my new home (away from home??), my residence for this new phase of life that is unfurling like young leaves. I see a brick house with a bay window and a backyard. I think I'll buy a used piano, since we've grown used to having one around. How apt, to be finding a way for new beginnings when springtime is hitting us full force here.

I won't be settling in until right before the fall semester starts, though. And it will be a bittersweet move, since the kids will stay here for the first semester I'm away. But I shouldn't get ahead of myself; I still have the uncertainties of summer to deal with.

the highlights

4/18 Cora's school carnival
4/19 berry picking/preserves

4/20 dept meetings/Chinese food at work
4/21 school/work/school- asking out the cute guy in my trig class
4/22 I guess I should take my computer competency test this day
4/23 coffee/drinks and then the theater broadcast of This American Life- Live!
4/24 farmers market with Amy, leave for camping trip

4/25 camping
4/26 etc

4/27 work, yawn
4/28 " "
4/29 " "
4/30 final exam for World Religions
5/1 early to bed/early to rise FIND OUT RESULTS OF THE INTERNSHIP APPLICATION

5/2 SAT TEST DAY!!!!
5/3

5/4
5/5 Trig final exam
5/6
5/7 Death Cab For Cutie at the Hardrock!!!
5/8 brunch at Conner's school, final grades are due, maybe my last day of work?

5/9 get my car in my possession finally
5/10

bouyancy, troughs, and crests

Did I tell you that I think the worst has passed? [NEVER MIND- I just looked at his facebook page and he's now "single" (lol, what, by default? since he never faced up to the break up??!!!!!!) and I hadn't realized that this would cut me to the quick... why doesn't he just go and delete me as a friend? why don't I?]

Which doesn't mean that there won't be low points. For example, last night I sat on the front steps and earnestly wished for a black wool pea coat, 4 sizes too big, being laid across my shoulders.

But Thursday was so phenomenal I started to think that just maybe I really would be moving on (and truly better off for it) when rolling waves of pity for him hit my shores.

Pity, because his problems are not the kind you can sort out in one introspective week. Because he will move on and find himself with someone else (someone better than me?) and he will ruin it again, because his problems are so huge and he hasn't the motivation to better himself. It's sad, really.

And every little daydream glimpse I've had of moving on partners me with someone who is actively living and pursuing betterment. I feel ashamed that my happy vision for myself doesn't revolve around self reliance and singleness, I think that would be stoic and wonderful of me, though.


So, onto other news:

I moved one batch of watermelon seedlings into a big pot, where I might try to keep them, to see if they will bear fruit there. The two small pots of Mesclun sprouts are being split today, each small pot of veritably overgrown. The cilantro and spearmint haven't shown yet.

The kids and I are going to Cora's school for a PTA carnival (today) and strawberry picking (probably tomorrow). Then time for making preserves!!!! Wooo!

bona fide day off work

My plans are all things a car-less person can do... but I intend to have a really great day off. No way am I staying in and folding laundry or doing homework or something.

No, I am going to the beach in a bit. I've got spf 70 for the back tattoo, however the rest of me could use a little sun glow. Really, this is the sort of day when I KNOW how lucky I am to live here. At the drop of a hat I can go sink myself in white sand (and shells) with a book in hand and hopefully a jack and ginger tucked in my tote bag, and while away the day.

Other things on the agenda; take bike to bike shop (not looking forward to this errand, but last chance to do this before Monday), hopefully go to the gym (they also have normal hours today, woo), and then maybe I will get to that laundry folding and homework after all, since tomorrow I'll be headed to a cookout/birthday party for my cousin in law. Chad Greene- all these years you've been at all our keg parties and birthday parties and what not, partying with the best of 'em, but cheers to you! Happy 21st!!

Harry's off to Los Angeles

In a little while, I'm driving him to the dojo where he's meeting up with the guys. They're going to "roll" for a little while (their slang for grapple), and then head over to Palito's, and go.

Last time Harry went to L.A. for the Pan Am's, we had a fire begin spontaneously in our shed. It was terrifying to be home with the kids and to step outside and see our backyard ENGULFED in fire.

He also had only recently gotten his blue belt, so the competition was fierce.

This time, he's a mature blue belt and has really whipped himself into killer shape.
I'm feeling really proud right now, since I pretty much was the one who got him eating healthy and going to classes there at the Gracie Barra school.


That's my ex-husband for ya.

kinderblog, wunderkind

My kid has a blog now.



It will most likely be her little animal stories, but I anticipate watching her put her more personal thoughts in print, too.

She's excited about the chance to share photos too, but I'm going to be here, hovering, wielding the mom-baton of final say.

the new apple of my eye

It's a rad little 5 speed Hyundai that has me over the moon. I mean, I love this little baby of a car. I want it so much I can taste it (huh, funny, it tastes a lot like a gin/cranberry juice/tonic). Mine's peacock blue, though.

Has there ever been a phrase that can make your heart pitter-patter like '5 speed'?

No, I didn't think so. Only problem is I will have to buckle down and stop spending so much money... It's about a thousand dollars more than I had wanted to spend on a new car.

Victory Gardenz

I was thinking about the garden project, Meet Molly (a children's book), and WWII when it occurred to me that history does sort of repeat itself. Sort of. There are a great deal of things that are vastly different now than they were in the 1940's, but maybe the American psyche has a providential gardening gene that "kicks in" during hard times.


Sure, it might just be economic (less income + higher prices = move towards gardening), but I think this is more about needing to feel human again. Dirt on your hands, wind in your hair human.


Victory!! Wooo!

expat dreaming, on such a winter daaaaaay

Last night we were all sitting around chatting about travel plans we want to make.

See, my best friend who lives in NM is pregnant, my cousin is getting married in Denver this summer, I have other cousins in NYC, and Harry will be in CA this spring...

All of that kind of got me started thinking about GOING. Somewhere.


Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park, Riverdale, Marin County.


Holland, Belgium, France, Austria, Denmark, Ireland, Wales.

Colombia, Venezuela, Argentina, Chile.

Korea, Japan, Thailand, Cambodia.


Passports are very tricky things to own; they do all sorts of things to you. Especially when you're holding hands with someone who feels the exact same way about the world being a ripe peach, quivering with the anticipation of being bitten.

my favorite taoist proverb in action?

I started two more little pots of seedlings last night, carrots and more watermelons. The kids and I have a gardening afternoon planned with Amy and Avery for Friday. We'll be bringing over our little seedlings (which are SO ready to go into the ground), and some compost and perhaps coming home with some ferns.




Last night, as I was clearing dinner from the table and herding children upstairs to brush teeth, Bill called (sorry, yes, you are going to be getting updates for a little while like this, until the shock wears off). We made some small talk, I got the funniest compliment I have in a while- "Your brain is a really nice brain..." - and then he asked me what I planned on doing on Saturday.

Well, I had planned on asking him that! I confessed that I had something really dorky going on, and I wanted to see if he wanted to join us. Inflatable bouncy place. Yes, the kind for children. Conner got an invitation from a preschool classmate, and we were going to use it on Saturday, and I always seem to be the only grown up in there, jumping. I figured, worst case scenario, he'd laugh at me, best case scenario, I wouldn't be the only grown up jumping in the inflatables. He laughed a little and said yes, absolutely, sounds like fun actually. And then invited me to one of his best friends' houses with him, too. (So, to clarify... does this mean he's NOT embarrassed to be seen with me??)



Also, stay tuned for more info on THE REALLY REALLY FREE MARKET a local event that is going to knock your plebeian socks off. Well, it will if you like the idea of trading and bartering for goods instead of buying with money... and a world that is less dependent on gorging itself at Capitalism's groaning buffet table of economic splendors.

the fed ex guy is my new boyfriend

This is my (most recent) magnum opus, the fruit of my womb...





...and this is the truck it drove away in, on a rainy February Monday, in ClearDun.

un momento perfectissimo

After several days of oppressive heat, now the the air is somehow the perfect temperature. The stars were out in their finest shimmer tonight, and the night sky so honestly navy that it hurts just to see how true it is.


And earlier this evening, in conjunction with the Starry Night, I cleaned the house, so everything smells nice and tidy. We had a couple of friends over for the link up, and to drum. One of them even brought a mandolin :-)

And, to top a perfect evening off- I'm sitting here listening to La Boheme in the nearly exhausted candlelight, drinking Sleepy Time Tea, which is supposed to help me fall asleep (important, since I have to get up for school in a little while).


Anyways, the whole moment is just overwhelmingly beautiful, I had to share.


Oh, and that's not all... I did some NSF research tonight and found out just how much money has been put into Anthropology research in the past 4 years, and it's unbelievable. Millions just from the NSF. So, of course that put me in a good mood. And I'm a little bit ecstatic because I got two (glowing) letters of recommendation today (from Bill Hemme & Hilary Flower) for my packet to the Smithsonian. (!!!!!!) (Does your heart nearly beat out of your chest at that? Mine does.)

This is going to require a trip to FedEx, which I have been steadily avoiding since late last August, but I'm going to have to do it. I will keep you updated.

video clip

I can't even tell you how this feels. Watching this brief and wordless event makes me feel like I've been granted with a second coming-of-age. My roommate and I are still marveling at it all.

You see, we were 17 when George W. was elected the first time, and it was awful to feel so powerless.

And then, 9/11, and the subsequent "reign of terror", erupted on us when we were 18.
I lost all hope for the future for a little while. The Patriot Act was too reminiscent of Orwell's 1984. And I was so guilty of thought-crime. We were careful on telephones. We were terrified, because of the insanity we were living with.

I made sure to get out and vote, though, in both the local and national elections. And I cried when he was re-elected. As the 2008 election neared, we feared W's insanity would result in a cancellation of the election (in the interest of 'national security', of course).

However, Helen pointed out this week that as the years went on it became more and more apparent that he wasn't that crafty or maniacal, just dumb.

I feel so thankful for this new chapter that has begun, even though things are scarier now than they were 8 years ago.

Oh, WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME Obama family! And bon voyage, Dubya.