Saturday, April 4, 2009

as a weight is lifted from my shoulders

The feeling that all outcomes are equal is a little foreign to me. I usually tend to be overly attached to everything, but more often it's situations and beliefs that I have a hard time recalibrating, rather than dealing with material attachments.

As a child, my mom (an Aquarius) wanted to impress upon me the value in not getting one's hopes too high, because of the risk of vast disappoint. The lesson never really stuck; I always go into things headlong and sometimes excessively (and all the while claiming to be a moderate!), and then I try and console myself when it all tumbles by saying that it just can't be avoided.

But when things really are going well, how do you take that? Cautiously? Or do you revel in it, soak it all up?

And things are good right now. Just good, good, good.

It is a miracle, but economically, I've seen my balances and I know I can handle all of these school expenses (paying for a few tests, applications, and my grad fees), I can handle our upcoming move (whether in town or out of town, is yet to be seen, but there is a move coming either way), I can even handle NOT getting the internship (plus stipend), if that's how it all plays out. I'd rather get it than not, but I'll BE OK either way.

Seriously, though, I'd like input on how you feel when life is (suspiciously) great... do you take that as an indicator of being on the right path? or do you think everything seemingly lined up can be just a fluke?


Teresa said...

Good feelings bring about MORE good things. Dive into the good and enjoy them!

Gladis said...

Hmm. You know, in my more pro-noid days I would have come to the same conclusion myself, but now it's a little more work to feel that.

I'll let you know how it goes.