Saturday, November 29, 2008

something you might not know about me

I am an extraordinary matchmaker.

Some of the people I've introduced are still together, nearly a decade later.

Anyways, I'm going to sacrifice my own interests here, and match (the adorable) Brandon Ballengee with (the eclecticly-lovely) Vaughn Bell.

Anyways, writing my big paper for art history this weekend. My chosen topic: ecology-art.

Friday, November 28, 2008

I'd sorta just like a completely blank canvas

I mean, if we are all going to say what we want for Christmas, and all.

I'd like to have not broken the glass bowl (full of my homemade, organic, cranberry sauce) at Friendsgiving.

I'd like to have not said a stupid thing to someone yesterday night.

And just now, for that matter.

I'd like to be forgiven for what I've done to you, if we know each other well enough for trespasses. A few in particular come to mind.

I'd like to have never been in love with T, who made me a worse person, and worse for wear, too. Maybe that's true of all love; it's quite possibly never a "good idea"...

I'd like to meet you for the first time all over again, unless our first meeting was decently memorable.

I'd especially like the chance to do some things over again, to mother my children better than I have till this point in time (but not just today, in general, I usually strive to do better in this dept).

Monday, November 24, 2008

ding ding!

Oh, yeah, just wanted toss some onomatopoeia your way, as I hang out in my office.

Both Gloria and Linda have left for the holidays and I am veritably drunk on power. I turned the radio to WMNF, ate some pumpkin pie with my lunch (free campus food day), I have the keys to the building dangling daintily from my wrist, and I can't leave my post, except to save the day (which I have technically already done twice today). Now if I could just conjure up a cup of coffee.

Oh, and as far as the "ding ding"... I'm also pretty excited about suddenly having a bell on my bike. Thanks for the present, B!

I went all the way to Orlando, and all I got was this...

(actually very nice) tee shirt! It says "Keep It Wheel", hee hee.

No, seriously, it was a complete surprise to me.

Tee shirts were handed out for first, second, and third place, as well as "dead last" and "fell flat on his face". I got the prize for donating extra food. Woo! Not dead last, and I didn't fall on my face!! :D

And actually, that's not all I got. I got to spend time doing something for a good cause, socializing with people I'm newly acquainted with, meeting some new people, having a great time riding (the weather was amazing, the food at Etho's was really good, and we all drank beer and hung out for a while after the race).

Oh, but folks, thats not the end of the story.

There's a MORAL to this tale.

A girl I know offered to drive, and I took her up on her offer. NOTE: I would have been fine driving myself. I have a bike rack on my car for this very purpose.

We agreed that we'd be coming home that same day. NOTE: I had agreed to go to those parties because I was going to be coming home Saturday evening.

After several additional factors came into play, she made a split-second-cross-4-lanes-of-interstate-traffic to drive to SOME GUY'S house in Orlando, some guy she doesn't even really know that well, and who was a complete stranger to me, announcing that she was not, in fact, driving me back to Pinellas Co. as planned.

I was actually almost relieved she wasn't driving, because her road rage had came out of hiding to the point where she was being extremely agressive, not to mention rude, to other cars, and even pedestrians (all with the bikes on the back of her SUV)!

She had decided we could "crash there" because she was too exhausted and hungry to go home.

However, I had no intention of staying there. I offered to drive (she said no), I suggested we stop for food and coffee (she was not interested), until I finally started calling madly for train/bus info, but by this time, all the ticket offices were closed.

NOTE: I could have gotten a ride with any number of people from Etho's, if I had known she'd flip out... Many of them live over this way, and were driving back, too.

ADDITIONAL NOTE: I could have purchased a Greyhound bus or train ticket right there in downtown Orlando if I had known!

I was livid, to say the least.

Anyways, my bike and I did make it back home last night, thanks to the timeless strength of the bonds of friendship. My roommate called a friend in Orlando who came and rescued me and brought me back here, in exchange for our couch to sleep on, and my promise to make breakfast.

Moral of the story: don't go to Orlando with someone you don't implicitly trust.

Friday, November 21, 2008

I'm just really confused, and maybe a little scared

So, on Thursday, in Trig, I didn't ask out the Hot Guy That Sits Next To Me.

(...because I wasn't there for the end of the class period, since I had to get out of there early for Conn's show. And it seemed wierd I guess, to seem like I had premeditated the asking. And, because I must be in high school, and I don't want him to know I like him, I just want to ask him all "spur of the moment" like. )

I roll my eyes at MYSELF, too.

But not for what you'd think sometimes. Sigh.

Ok, different topic (sorta):

So, of course, Brian was the first person I called about that bike crash I had last week. And he talked me down from the panic. His advice was to not let it ruin things for me, but to instead use this event as fuel for creating a better world. Not his exact words, but you know what I mean.

So, I wrote a letter and emailed it and I sent it to him, just to say "look, dude , took your advice. I'm starting something :)" and then he called me and said "Hi, I'm in Clearwater, and I want to merge projects and DO something" and I was going to Conn's show. And then he was in thh right place at the right time and got a bunch of things sorted out, that simple.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

wait- Heather B. Armstrong is pregnant?

It's true, but really that's all I have to say about that. I mean, it's silly to blog about a famous blogger. That's like if I was to tell you that Bike Snob said thefunniestthingever about something yesterday.

Actually, a post where I recap bloggy things for you mightn't be ALL bad?

Um... yeah. Or you could just look at the links I posted. Pretty much all of the blogs I read are there, except for Bike Snob and Dooce. I figured they don't need my meager traffic.

I'll update you on things here.

1) My teeth- still in my mouth.

2) Conn will be in his first Thanksgiving show tommorrow morning at his school. Can you believe it?? He's wearing a white dress shirt and tie and everything.

3) Cora is insanely jealous of this, depsite the fact that I'm coming to HER school on Friday for "Home Made Turkey Soup Day", or "The First Graders Present: Thanksgiving!"

4) Conn CAN READ. He can read, I tell you. I swear, that boy is the most precocious 3 year old ever.

5) Cora is really quite upset that he can read. That was HER trick. She told me tonight that it's not OK, and that "the whole world CAN'T learn how to read". She forbids it, because it steals some of her glory.

6) This weekend, I'm going to Orlando for a bike race (for charity). It's like a scavenger hunt that takes us through downtown Orlando grocery stores to purchanse specified things. All food gathered on this ride will be donated to the hungry!

7) I also got invited to tag along on what I believe is someone else's date. Well, I'm being told that it isn't [but it's a party at an art gallery and a girl invited the person who invited me], because she's "working the door". I wish I could say this is the first time, but I think I recall this same friend having invited me out as a third wheel once before. Saddest thing? I kinda want to go, even though it seems like a really awful thing to do to myself, or to another girl. Well, truth be told, I have some ulterior motives:

a) not staying home drinking alone on a Saturday night
b) possibly running into someone that I half expect will be there
c) not being there alone when I run into this person
d) suspect I was invited in order to make my friend look less available
e) which means I may be shown off a bit ;-)
f) have the absolute hottest thing to wear

What do you think... go to the party? or run like hell from any situation even remotely like that one?

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

quick- post something that doesn't suck!


Guess what? Uther Pendragon (a la Marion Zimmer Bradley's T.M.O.A.) sat next to me in Trig today. An entirely rude and aggravating, bearded, blond, saxon-looking sort.

The cute boy (with the tattoo of one of his paintings) that normally sits next to me wasn't there.

I keep intending to ask him out. Thursday, for reals.

posting this for you...cause you're my *very* favorite bro'

Now, I generally my roll eyes at this sort of mushiness, but I think I am in love- completely-totally-head-over-heels smitten (by The Finches). So much so, that I am adding the veritable kiss of death to my (already pneumococcal) blog. Lryics. I know, it'd be a modicum less shitty if I had actually had the gumption to WRITE a song and posted those lyrics, but they did such a nice job that I don't have to.

NOTE:::::: If this song doesn't at the very least whelm you, call me and I'll find some way to refund your wasted time. Promise.

ps, the title of it is Daniel's Song, but since I know someone by that name, and I didn't want to be, well, creepy, I dashed it out. Now you can substitute your 6 letter name for his, and I'll suddenly be singing it to you (in your dreams, of course).

------, you can take the bus

but if you're not feeling right,

I can pick you up 'cus I kinda like to drive.

From my window I see signs, they stand stapled to the road.

I'll smile at you, because we've tried and left our heavy load.

Back at home with Mom and Dad

can be an awful time, so I

promise to do what I can to try and make it nice.

From my window I see stars, they swing low against the road.

I'll smile at you, because we've tried and finally left our home.

Oh, the going, it was much too slow.

And we thought we never would arrive.

Oh, but somehow life picked up the pace,

went faster than the time,

and we somehow survived.

Waiting for the bus to come,

never seemed to last quite so long.

Leaning on the rain to fall,

------, you can give me a call;

I'll give you a ride.

Oh, the going, it was much too slow.

And we thought we never would arrive.

Oh, but somehow life picked up the pace,

went faster than the time,

and we somehow survived.

------, you can take the bus

but if you're not feeling right,

I can pick you up 'cus I used to like to drive.

Back at home with Mom and Dad

can be an awful time, so I

promise to do what I can to try and make it nice.

From my window I see signs,

they lean longing for the road.

I'll smile at you

because you're my

very favorite bro...

..oh! The going, it was much too slow.

And we thought we never would arrive.

Oh, but somehow life picked up the pace,

went faster than the time,

and we somehow survived.

Saturday, November 15, 2008


No, first off, I'm not running off to Korea, not just yet. But just the same, I am flying, in a way. Maybe that's the drugs talking. See what happens when you put a painkiller in me? It kills the pain, makes it ALL go AWAY.

Suddenly, I have a strange and frightening deep empathy for He Who Shall Not Be Named (and you know I don't read Harry Potter, so it's not that bad guy, I mean that other bad guy). It's just true that waking up having no recollection of the previous evening is only disturbing if you dwell on it; if, instead, you are dwelling on the spine-tinglingly beautiful and the aesthetically... um, what was I saying? Argh, my attention span!

Assuming we are similarly afflicted, go do s o m e t h i n g while you listen to this heart-breakingly beautiful song... The "big city, little town" hook is how I feel about here, my self professed home base. Oh, and I'm fairly certain a well-meaning fan made this video, and I thought for a moment that it'd also be heart-breakingly beautiful, until it dawned on me that the opening IS the whole video. What a shame.

-- Wait -- Are you thinking "what painkillers?" and "what's going on?"...

I forgot to fill you in on some details.

I was going to write a whole blog about how lucky I feel and how life is precious and fragile and about awareness and fear and preseverance. And then my painkillers kicked in and I could smile.

My face is NOT broken. I intend to keep on riding. The RUDE_ASS driver of the white pick up truck did not kill me. My new bike is ok. I flipped over my handlebars for the first time ever, and I hit the pavement teeth first. I took to it like a duck to water.

That was Thursday night. I had the right of way, I was riding conscientiously, I had TWO lights on my bike and a (practically neon) green hoodie sweatshirt on. A truck wanted to turn, so it invoked the "bigger, stronger" clause and did so, after making eye contact with me. Unfortunately, I had some speed and had the right of way, so stopping was a bit of a surprise, as was tasting the road. My bike hit me on the back of the head, my quart of yogurt exploded in my messenger bag, the truck sped off into the distance.

Did you know that this past Wednesday night, in St. Pete, a 20 year old, who had gone to Clearwater High with some of my friends, died? He was riding his bike (with two lights on it) and was struck by a Jeep. The St. Pete Times gave it all of 50 words and mostly just pointed out that he had not been wearing a helmet and that the driver just was not aware of his presence on the road. Oh, and that no charges had been filed.

This is not just upsetting to me, this is UPSETTING. After my 'incident' I was shaken up and worried about what I'd look like with no front teeth. And then I thought about what I could have done differently. And about how to prevent this sort of thing. And about how if I had been going a little bit faster, I'd be dead.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

my first Skirts ride

This week I had a night off from my Tuesday class, so I headed downtown and met up with some girls about my age who like bikes. That's not all they like; there's other stuff too; art/writing/reading, tattoos, philanthropy, fun, drinking, baking, oh yeah, and bikes.

We rode a northernly route around St. Pete. At around mile 5 I felt weak and like it was all a bad idea. By mile 7 I had my shit together and was loving life.

My new friend, Indi, and I chatted non-stop as we pumped out hearts out, certainly not leading the pack, but arriving at the ending point around the same time as the others, ready to sit down for some brainstorming re: upcoming events.

In all, about 15 miles.

:) life is BEYOND comprehension sometimes :)

So, my day started a little stressed; I had to get ready for a chemistry exam AND go to my brain-less dead-end job, where I would be unable to study for that exam. PLus, I've discovered that from 9:30 am till about 1 pm, I am a HW machine. I mean, I can take notes at a good pace, I solve the most complicated problems during those hours, I think clearly, and I actually don't lack motivation.

And, my kids are in school during those hours, so it's a good time to hunker down with coffee and my work, right?

So, imagine how aggravating it must be to have to peel myself away from the perfect homework environs to go do NOTHING MUCH. At least, nothing important (and for almost no money!).

Besides- ASK ME, just ask me, what is the most important thing to me? My children, of course.

And what have I been forced to put ahead of my time with them (not above their wellbeing, they're just getting lots of time with their dad and with my mom)? School, namely Chemistry lecture. It cuts into my time with them, and still I struggle. So, for me, to pass this class is insanely important. I've invested so much time...

So, to put work ahead of passing Chemistry was to add insult to injury!!! To, essentially put SHREDDING PAPER ahead of time that could have been spent with my kids?? NO, sir, I will NOT.

But do you know what had me the most stressed of all? I felt guilty to want to put my own needs first. How sad. Sometimes, it is very easy to get swept into a current of GO GO GO, when what I need is a sit down breakfast and quality time ;-)

Therefore, mine was a most sympathetic ear as a good friend poured out some of his Monty-Python-esque angst (think: Dennis, the socialist peasant from The Holy Grail), regarding the culture we find ourselves in.

One thing led to another, and before I knew it... I was being invited to join in the (family friendly) adventure of a lifetime, half a world away.

This is why you should always keep passports at the ready. You might not end up using them, but it's certainly nice to know that you could if you wanted to. If you're at all like me, your sanity depends upon it.

Monday, November 10, 2008

argh... it was either blog, or make pancakes!

And I happen to have restocked our flaxseed and sunflower seed stores this weekend, so you never know: I may live on the freakin wildside and make the pancakes, yet!

Ok, so how was my weekend? How was my precious Saturday-Sunday combination??

Well, first of all, it's over. I'll be at work in the morning. Ugh. I HATE working in the mornings.

Secondly, the overall theme seems to have been "I did my best" (and that has to be good enough).
-Online trig assignment: not entirely completed, but I spent about 14 hours on it.
-I completed my last quiz for Art Hist, now all that's left is a bunch of written work...
-Critical mass ride today: I invited dozens and dozens of strangers, plus everyone I know who I thought might be interested, and some people who fall into the grey area in between. Shit, I even invited Hulk Hogan and Brooke (Hogan, duh). But still, not a big turnout. At least I had fun.
-It was my "kid-free weekend". How'd the dating go? It didn't.

And now I'm all self-conscious and obsessed with the negativity (MAKE IT STOP!! Please Help!!!). I feel like I'll even have to call in fat to work tommorrow. Damn it.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

interdepartmental canoodling, and other juicy stories from the girl who shreds paper

Remember how I said I wouldn't be working on Fridays and that was one of the perks of this job? Yeah, well I have only had one Friday off so far, and one that I just skipped (whoops). It's because that's been the only way I can feasibly get all 15 of my (measly) hours in, since I can't work at all on Tuesdays and I can't work until after 11 am on Thursdays and then have to leave by 1:45 if I'm going to be on time to pick up Conner. On Mondays and Wednesdays, I've taken to just staying on campus between work and Chem lecture, which keeps me from driving unneccessarily and saves money and stress, but cuts into my time with my kids by 2 hours a week.

Funny how in the SAHM days I would have laughed over missing them for an extra hour or two. I would have been running to the car.

OK, I'll get to the workplace makeout session. That's why you are reading this today, anyways, I'll gamble.

So, I work in a college office and across the hall from me is a nice girl with glasses and REAAAALLY incredibly long hair. She has goldfish in her office, which is also cluttered with beanie babies and cute things. And, yesterday, I went in there to ask her something and saw that she had company (someone who also works at the college), and that they may have been holding hands, but seeing as that it's been an emotional week, I figured hand holding was not that uncommon.

Oh, I am not kidding but today, they were in there for a long time and I definately saw them making out every time I walked past for about an hour and a half. The door was wide open; I am not a pervert, ok??

This all got me thinking, and makes me sort of sad, too.

1) I am a really awesome person, I am good in a couple, and I want someone to make out with on Fridays.

2) I might not ever get to share the rest of my life with someone. This is actually a possibility, and I don't know how to handle it.

I'm now going to reference one of my favorite real-life- romance stories: Once upon a time, before Trent fell deeply in love with Carrie, he listed in his blog exactly what he was looking for in a girl. He actually had first laid it all out on paper, just for his own benefit, but then decided it was entertaining enough for the rest of us, too.

I have done that before, but maybe it's time again.

-smart, but not so brilliant I seem excessively dull
-hot, but not too conceited
-nerdy, in a hot way
-well read
-not a strict rule follower, or at least doesn't care that I am not
-compassionate, ethical, involved,
-likes children, plants, and animals :)
-likes Anthropology, science, riding bikes, reading books, drinking beer, music
-wants to teach me things, somewhat talkative but ok with silences

Oh, and did I mention I've started an experiment in... online dating. I know. Sigh.

Does this mean I am totally not a happening chick or am I just open-minded? I don't know, I'm tired of the bar scene and like the ability to filter through the people that just won't do. I wasn't originally going to do it, but thought... why not?

Because I hate dissapointment, THAT'S WHY.

There are some guys I am chatting with and all is/was well, except one of them freaked me out a little with some things that were excessive. Let me just say you do not ask a girl you are ONLY just recently chatting with if she is on The Pill!!!! For real. DON'T DO IT> And before that he was funny, smart, liberal, and really seemed cool.

The next guy is hotter than the first, and seems like more fun. He was enthusiastic to chat w me, and then all of a sudden... crickets chirping. But he really has all of those qualities I listed, plus he loves Star Wars and hates circuses like me. And I am really awesome (tell me: what's not to love about me?). Should I IM him back and say "Hey, was it something I said?" ?

I am really ready to have someone in my corner, to be in someone's corner. I'm completely jealous of all of you people with mates!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Let it be known- it was Pinellas Co!!!


Pinellas, you came through for FL.

Florida, your votes made the difference!

THIS IS IT- the culmination of the past 8 years

The sky is grey in a smooth way today, and it feels patriotic, to me.

Each time I've been in D.C. it was like this outside, and personally, I think it suits the day.

Cora and I got up early and celebrated Election Day by making pancakes and watching videos online about what kids across the country think of the whole process and the candidates. Cute!

As you know, Tuesday's are my busy day, but I am very excited to be hitting the polls in a bit, and will be anxiously/optimistically staying tuned to the outcome.

I do have a night class, but I'll try and convince the professor that access to the electoral updates is unequivocally pertinant to our well-being. It's an American History class, for crying out loud.

hastily and with love(!),


PS. Core urges you to vote for Obama. her reasoning: "John McCain wants to make more war, and we don't need more war".

Sunday, November 2, 2008

ouch, in so many ways

Forgive the wierd angles. Us single girls gotta take these pictures over our shoulders and all. I'll invest in a mirror when I recoil from the ungodly expense of this session. No, I cannot afford to live like this. I do it because I hate all traces of sanity.

ok, recruited Bender to take that one...