Wednesday, July 30, 2008

this is how

...I've been handling the issues, so far.

I'm reading Carlos Castaneda's Tales of Power and hoping to absorb some lesson on strength and self assuredness.

Since it's a book I've already read, there is that nice comfort that I can pick it up and open it to any part I want. Yesterday I reread the part where Don Juan explains the tonal and nagual to Carlos, which are (self)consciousness and invisible power, respectively.

They sit on a bench for a while and people watch, picking out people who have weak, out of shape tonals, and Don Juan adds that self indulgence can weaken the naturally sensitive tonal.

The nagual is where a warrior's creativity, power, and immpecability come from, and it is entirely invisible and un-imaginable, but when it is in balance the warrior can draw on it at will.

Maybe this sounds a bit esoteric to you, for a discussion on childrearing, but I can't imagine anything else I can do at this point to balance the two forces working on me right now- (somewhat just)outside expectations and my preference for my own method of handling my children (certainly NOT perfect yet!). I am open to change, but not at the expense of my relationship with C and C.

So, I want to have a strong, balanced tonal and nagual, so that all of my life is like clay in my hands. I know my children are their own selves, but I want to manage them deftly when needed, and others, too.

Also, I don't know why my reply to Cassie came under the name of Luz Dary, my aunt. I was sure I had completed the sign in as myself.


Cassandra said...

Actually if it works for you then its a great book to read for childrearing. You dont have to lose your relationship with your kids, or even change the little people that they are with a few basic rules. I mean come on my kids are rude, they fight with each other constantly but they follow rules and they do say please and thank you. I like their stories and their laughter, the imgination that I let run free. It might get Taylor in trouble at school cause his stories are "unbelieveable" but hey its his story(even with a plaid sky and dragons that save the princess) You need to find a common happy rule for all of you. One that you wont feel like its suffocating them and one that they can follow without feeling like they are at boot camp. Start with one rule, no throwing food ever(unless its outside and we call food fight, its our rule). And remember its a visit, you can just make your visits shorter next time or get a hotel next time :)

Memarie Lane said...

I've read a book by Castaneda before, don't remember which one. It really freaked me out. I've always been interested in him though because he was Paulo Coelho's mentor.