Monday, July 28, 2008

a really hard thing

It's probably part of the cycle of life, how sometimes we are UP and other days very much down... Well, that's natural for me anyways.

But, yeah, there are some issues I am dealing with right now. Not really direct, clearcut home-sickness, but I did have a dream last night where I tried to find a way to end the trip early. Of course, there was none.

Basically, what's going on is that my grandma is a compulsive tidy person, and I am me (and, naturally, my kids know MY ways and rules). Of course she loves me but there have been problems. I've been cautious, above and beyond my usual manner, to wash every dish and spoon we dity, to gather up after them, and so on, but the fact remains that I do not have all the answers, or eyes in the back of my head. I'm struggling to do my best and it's definately wearing me out everyday. It's just not enough.

The house is FULL to the brim with delicate, beautiful, expensive things that appeal to children... Tiny animals made of austrian crystal, nice linens, etc. Some things are less expensive (little baskets full of decorative soaps in the bathroom that are GLUED into place in the basket, lol), but that doesn't really change anything to my grandma when they are pulled out because somebody (we still don't have a confession from the guilty party) thought they were toys.

Also, electricity is very expensive, and three year olds love to turn on lights.

My grandma is also old (you know how old people are), so she is naturally set in her ways and any form of disorder in the house makes her already sore back hurt MUCH worse. And since I went so many years without and wishing I had this family back I truly want to humor her...

Si, abuelita. Por supuesto... (Yes, grandma. Of course.)

Whether it's about giving the kids their ommelette WITH their arepas (no difference to me) or asking them to stop leaving little handprints on the walls (I'd def rather they didn't!), I agree with her. And she insists that no food be thrown out, that shoes always be worn in the house, that beds are made crisply. The list goes on.

I have OFFICALLLY been asked to do a better job at disciplining them (I guess all these years I've been having fun indulging them??) so hopefully we will go home with wonderful new habits in place regarding cleanliness, self discipline, chores, etc.

Ugh. No wonder they keep liquor in this house.


Cassandra said...

aww sounds like you are having so much fun :) Its a older person thing, you never quite do it right no matter what. My kids are never quite nice enough lol. But hey new habits arent always bad. It might be something you need later on right??

Luz Dary said...

yea, it just hurts so much I can't seem to stop crying.
It's ruining the most expensive thing I've ever paid for in my life...

She actually told me my kids are the first to have ever touched anything in this house, but she raised 7 kids here and several grandkids and great grandkids come visit... And also that the trash NEVER smelled bad until after we were here. 8-(

Cassandra said...

Well you know it might just be a cultural thing.. When I visit in Canada, I always get that "oh well your American" attitude. It might not be that they are different(cause they act like kids) but that they are from America and she resents it(though never would say so) Just something to think about.

Juan said...

Gladis don't pay attention to her, she will drive you nuts, be yourself, don't try to please some one else, pretending to be who you are not, let the kids be kids, you have done a great job with them, they are healthy, happy and alive. your best will never be enough to her.

I didn't really want to say anything before, because I don't like to talk about people, I didn't want to ruin your trip which you so eagerly looked forward to. She got old and that's the way she is, she makes my mom's life a living hell. Talk to my mom, when you guys are alone, she'll give you some comfort, just don't say i told you anything

I love you guys.