For the past day and a half, I've wondered what was up with Billy. To tell you the truth, I still don't know.
But I heard from him last night (so it's not the hospital, jail, or rehab) and he said he's not doing so great right now, that it has nothing to do with me, and that we'll chat later. And he apologized for leaving me hanging. [Tell me, how did he manage to assuage my bristled spirit with only 3 short lines of text? I don't know, but he did.]
This is part bittersweet and part relief; something is NOT well with him and that makes me incredibly sad, because I care. Everyone has heartache, and I have seen the dark shadow that outlines his bright, luminescent true self. And I don't mean that in a bad way; we all have that dark shadow traveling with us.
So here is me putting it all out there, even though he might break up with me when we talk later (I'm no longer expecting that, but technically it's POSSIBLE):
I still believe in love, trust, hope, romance, and truth. Sure, Tom put me through the wringer, and someone else I associated closely with (and would have been good to, all the days of my life) treated me badly. And if Billy is going to go from A+ boyfriend to just a memory in such a short span of time, that's going to be alright eventually too.
I don't care how much risk there is! I don't care if you all laugh at me, ridicule my choices, all of the times I give someone the benefit of the doubt and that person disappoints.
I don't care what you say. There IS something special about driving home with someone and singing together, and even when you get there, you take another loop through the neighborhood because your mate has started the song over, so you can both sing through it a second time, together.