Sunday, March 15, 2009

pretty sure Fiona Apple understands stuff like this

You know, Craig Ferguson once told her during an interview that she's a "very complicated woman", but that he likes that, lol. And I think that is how I feel right now; complicated.

Remember how I said that I believe in the magic spark between two people, even though there are risks? Well, I'm here to up the ante.

Without wanting to say too much about this, I happen to actually know that Billy cares for me in quite a serious way. He has shown this to me, by saying that any flaw I may have is nothing to him if he can be with me. And sadly, I am flawed.

Tonight I had to ask Mike if anything awful had happened to Billy that would explain why he left me hanging on a Saturday night when he initiated making plans with me just yesterday. Mike's answer is that this is just who he is. That's Bill. That's who he is. He does this to "everyone", according to Mike. He simply flakes out and no one can get a hold of him from time to time regardless of their plans with him. It's part and parcel with his genius side, with his silly side, with his compassionate side, with his irreverent side, with his generous, caring side.

And somehow, as sad as it is to think this could be something I'd get used to, I'm finding myself thinking that I CAN meet him halfway on this. I'm upset at the behavior, but I miraculously still love him (and I am not an easily forgiving person!). This is his flaw and I want to do as he did with me and embrace him fully, in spite of it.

No comments: