Sunday, September 28, 2008

I may not know much...

... but I still feel compelled to write a how-to.

Some of my favorite bloggers do these how-to's regularly, and I've always found it to be interesting reading.

Two or three topics come to mind today, all springing from the past 24 hours or so.

In chronological order, because there is otherwise no connective thread what-so-ever, except maybe you could say the theme centers around "breaking all the rules".

How To Ride A Bike Wearing A Skirt Or A Dress

This morning, my mom really wanted to know how this is possible. Really, shorter is better, until a certain point, I'm sure. I guess I mean: avoid long or voluminous. I ride in dresses frequently, because I like to wear dresses and skirts. Jeans are difficult when it's hot out and I like jeans that are on the tighter side, anyways, so they just aren't that great when I'm riding. When you are cycling, I doubt if anyone really sees anything, but be prepared for hoots and whistles (best to just smile and ignore; you don't want to let it distract you, lest you lose your balance).

If you are going to wear a skirt with a little more volume, like I did to my archaeology meeting yesterday, what you do is straddle the bike before you sit down. Then pull the skirt to one side and use the opposite side's hand to hold it down to the back of your thigh where it comes close to your body, while the other hand holds the rest of it up and to the side. Then, while your hand is on your leg, fold the skirt that is up and to the side behind you, under your ass, and sit down on it. Now you have a shorter, tighter skirt which is perfecto. Not going to get caught in your non-danish bicycle.

How To Not Be A Bitch To The Guys That You Like

You might get a lot of feedback from the girls you know who say that the only man worth dating is one who is going to rearrange his entire life to shower YOU with attention (I seriously have had girlfriends tell me to ditch someone I was seeing because he had his own life in addition to the time we spent together), but I hope you put that idea aside for a moment and listen to what I have to say.

That is asking for too much. My goodness! Would you want someone to ask that of you?? Really? And it's the kind of thing that can be addictive, but it's definately not healthy. The giver gets worn out and the recipient grows numb.

To not be a bitch, all you have to do is treat others with the kind of respect you expect to be treated with yourself, and to not ask of someone more than you know you can give, without giving too much. That means that personal boundaries are PERSONAL. I'm not saying that you won't naturally develop closeness with someone you spend time with, but I'm saying that you don't have to try to infiltrate like you've been hired by the Dept of Homeland Security.

Also:how can someone be interesting to you if all they like is you? And, how can you expect that a normal human being won't be interested in dating other awesome people too? Aren't you dating other people too? Exactly.

How To Discuss Religion With An Evangelical Christian (Without Arguing)
Translate what you have to, in your mind, so that their points make sense to you on your own level.

Mention that you don't want to "put God in a box". They will understand this terminology.

Nod, when you somewhat comprehend. Sip your coffee and neutrally state that you don't understand when something is beyond your sphere of understanding or intrest.

If you have NO acceptance for ANY version of God/Infinite Wisdom/Universe, then you might want to not attempt this one at all! :-P

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