Remember when I asked

"How long will it take to get over the break up?"

Apparently just about 2 months. Not that I don't still think about Tom, about what went wrong, "why?", etc... I do think about that stuff sometimes, but it's not first in the morning, and last at night, anymore.

The stuff he gave me is still here. I still think the japanese fishing hat is the coolest thing on our hat-stand. The jewelry he gave me is still some of my favorite stuff; the texts, the most romantic ever.

I'm just no longer feeling like he was the right person for me. It's sort of a relaxed kind of dissapointment now.

Just thought I should share, since SO many of my friends helped to hold me together when I was falling apart. And now, it's probably time to get MY life back on track (school, work, etc); Tom seriously derailed me for a while, with all that love nonsense.

And, remember when my marriage split up and, even though I did the dumping, I felt so terribly betrayed, broken, and alone? Ah, memories. But, several months later, that pain also passed.

I think that's the story of that single koi fish shoulder tattoo (who currently seems to be trapped in some sort of middle ground between swimming upstream and blowing in the wind). Resisting lonliness is resisting one's most natural and most effortless state of being, the Osho masters might say.

Then, why is it that I feel like I am at my ABSOLUTE best when I can complement someone's uniqueness? When my skills and qualities can be appreciated and someone else's qualities can be appreciated by me? That's where strong friendships come into play, and help to fill that void, somewhat...

Except sex w/ friends is just WIERD sometimes.

Being married spoiled me!